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| I don't feel like physically writing this down. So this must do. Because I know no one reads this, it's safe. Yeah, the internet it safe. Right. And I'm supposed to be writing a paper about Modernism? Double U- Tea- Effff. That's due in about 7 hours. And turn it in to turnitin.com. Yeah. I love the American public school system. It's just DANDY. Love you Arnold. <3. Believe me, this one is worth reading.
For a while, I've been praying for a really good friend that I could talk to (besides my momma and Jesus) about whatever because my social life kind of died for some reason. Thank you SAT/AP tests and sports. Anyway, I've been coasting through life after I lost a really good friend. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, where to go; I was lost. For about a year or so, I was quiet. Weird, huh? Well you might not have seen the difference, probably because I put on a show for you. You can pay me later. I didn't express myself, the way I used to. For example, just talking about random things, letting myself get excited because I'm talking to someone that understands me for a blink of an eye.
Until late, I've realized God's immaculate grace. He's blessed me with three relationships that have been hiding from me, waiting for me to seek them. These people were once ones that I could talk to about anything and everything, and know they wouldn't judge me because He's created me like this. They've unknowingly changed my life. --Among many, and I'm sure they know who they are. These three. Man. "Ask and you shall receive" Amen to that. And he's also graced (man I'm running out of words of how to describe Him) me with a challenge that I've been seeking. I must work on that one too. Anyway, I asked for one good friend and he's give me THREE! God is too good. Too great. Too amazing. You get the picture. Scratch that. I've got FOUR! I just remembered one more. I was just talking to three of them an hour or so ago. Ohhh yesssss. I'm juicedddd. HELLO WORLD.
For real, though. This feeling I have, is ridiculous. Wanna know something else? My challenge? Okay.
So like, you know how missionaries have all these insane stories about how they have saved 34975097 million gillion billion people? I've always wondered where my testimony would be. That's why I've normally hated giving testimonies. I had nothing to say. So, I prayed to God, asking for a challenge, because I felt ready to take it head on. Boom. My challenge presented itself. In the most obscure place too. A person I'd never really talked to, a person that I would not have expected to have this kind of challenge in their life. A challenge that we would have to face. Together. I've slacked on this challenge because of my AP U.S. History test, but now that it's done, I'm coming back, with even more force than ever.
You know what else God has done for me? He's made my family (well mainly me, my momma, and brothers) inseparable. We're so much like each other, that it's scary. Our inside jokes involve everyone. And a relationship I thought would not have blossomed until around our 20's, was the relationship with my oldest younger brother, Alex. Before we became cool, I was deathly scared that I would go off to college and him and I wouldn't have that brother-sister relationship I've always longed for. That we would stoop down to the occasional, "Hello." Scared that if it weren't for our blood, that we wouldn't talk. But I unconsciously thought that. And God knew what I was thinking, or not thinking. He was good to me, even without asking. Wow. I'm speechless. I'm pretty much bawling right now. It's so amazing. I'm so thankful, blessed, happy, scared why such a perfect being would make my life near perfect. Why He would take the time.
Please please please. I beg of you. If you've read all this and have felt inspired, touched, what have you, I encourage you to read the bible, pray a lot, go to church and actually pay attention and apply it to your life, sing the songs with meaning, and live it for the Lord. Because you only have one life to live (that verse is in Romans, I think-- the one life thing, I'll memorize it soon). This is what worked for me. I KNOW it will work for you too. Let God work in your life like He has in mine. Be happy for once. The right way. In His light. Don't be scared to grab His hand and let Him lead you.
All of this is no joke. How could such a small being (Ha.) make all this up? What inspiration do I have to write a non fiction excerpt? Why would this happen to me if I didn't believe in Jesus? Could a non-believer make this up? How can you not feel God's grace? Does this make sense?
I'm definitely open to talking to you.
"Do you love your Jesus? Deep down in your heart?"
I sure do.
You know how all the apostles and disciples wrote books in the bible? I have no idea how I wrote all that I did. Must've been the way of God.
"Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet."
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| ADSLJfoiep[joiafjkj
I hate wasting pads. Feminine napkins? Yes. Gahhh. Wouldn't it be cool if your body told you that your flow would stop at a certain time? Yeah, but how? I have no idea.
AND THEN! When you only bleed a drop.
I've got to go eat my damn bananas.
http://www.healthmad.com/Alternative/Go-Bananas.39679
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| Itchy but untouchable.
Dry yet oily.
Bumpy and smooth.
Unattractively attractive.
Pimples of Oxymorons.
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| Last night, sleep wouldn't have me.
(Well, neither would my mistress)
We were on our honeymoon; waking up at 8.
Instead of the luminous 6.
An itch, a spaz attack, followed by a sneeze.
"Don't think of anything.
How much would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
What? I don't know. Ahh I'm thinking."
It's like I forgot how to fall asleep.
How to Fall Asleep for Dummies.
That's a best seller right there.
Four A.M. rescued me.
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